The Green Pastures

The topic of friendships has been one I have wanted to write about for a while. In each season of my life, the people around me have affected it, whether good or bad. I want to speak specifically to two levels of friendships and then a key contributor to them. 

Loneliness

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” Psalms 13:1

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.” Psalms 13:6

The feeling of loneliness is a rough one. I can remember so many times when I would feel all alone. Psalms 13 has really helped me throughout my seasons of loneliness. I could relate to how the psalms starts, crying out to God and asking why I felt the way I did. I would always know that God is with me, but sometimes I would forget and look for the satisfaction in people and not God. It was not until I strived to find enjoyment in God, even when I felt alone, that I grew the friendships that have had the biggest impact on me. It can seem like a sick joke, but God often waits for us to be okay with little before He gives us a lot. We may want all the friends in the world, but it is much better to have a handful of true, close, brothers and sisters in Christ than to have a bunch of distant friends you don’t really know. It is immensely important that the base of all friendships is God. That is why, whether you have good close friends or no friends, it is good to always work on your relationship with God in order to build on that foundation. It is important to remember that God is ready for a deep friendship with you. He has the greatest steadfast love. When you realize that, you will be too busy rejoicing in His love and salvation to be sad about the earthly loneliness.

Brothers and Sisters

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

It may seem nice to have as many friends as possible, but as the verse says, it is likely to come to ruin. One of the greatest stories of friendship is found in Luke 5 with the story of the paralytic man healed. His friends were willing to carry him to Jesus and lower him down into the room. When Jesus saw their faith, He healed the paralytic. Jesus did not heal the man because of his faith, but when Jesus looked at the friends of this man who carried him, He healed him. Another great story of friendship and brotherhood comes from Acts 28:15. When Paul was imprisoned, he had brothers in Christ walk 56 miles to comfort and encourage him. How many people are you willing to carry? Better yet, how many people are you willing to walk 56 miles to comfort and encourage? How many people do you have around you willing to do that for you? Build up that tight bond with people. There is the well-known verse that says iron sharpens iron, but I heard a pastor expound on that. If that deep friendship is to sharpen each other, then it must be forged. You do not just happen into a deep friendship, but build it through time and trials. Sometimes you may click with someone and it is easier to forge that friendship, but there is still a forging that must happen. 

Communication 

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” Romans 14:19

One thing I find absolutely vital to any friendship or relationship as a whole is good communication. I think it is important to talk about it here. It can seem like it is a given to have good communication, but far too often poor communication can get in between two people. Whether it’s miscommunication or lack of communication, they do not lead to peace or mutual building up. We are to communicate in clarity, truth, and love; not in confusion, lies, and malice. I have seen firsthand how lack of communication can hurt. I have countless stories of seeing two friends needing to just talk things out, but their friendship just rots. I have also seen when two friends have great communication. That looks like calling each other out of sin in love, being honest how each other feels, and sending encouragements regularly. Out of those two scenarios, it should be obvious which is better. The latter actually leads to peace and mutual edification and becoming those close brothers and sisters in Christ, while the other leads to mutual destruction and growing apart. Don’t let your relationships rot. Work on them with good communication, especially when it is hard. In fact, friendships are proven in the hard times. Ecclesiastes 4 says we are to lift our friends when they fall and to have those around us to do the same. We must work to get to that level. Building that takes good healthy communication.