Secluded

“But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray [in seclusion]” Luke 5:16

For the longest time, I had struggled with a fear of man. Because of that fear, I would always be terrified of being alone, whether it was even a valid fear or not. My happiness was found in if people thought highly of me. This fear of man was especially present when people were around. I would over-think every little detail and convince myself that everyone around me was putting on a facade to hide what they truly thought of me. It got to a point where I believe God stepped in. I was standing on the edge of what I thought would take away every friend and leave me with my worst fear. In actuality, God used that short season of uncertainty of social status to teach me and prepare me for when I would actually face the fear of loneliness. He also gave me many deeper friendships and true brothers in Christ. Half a year after that, for various reasons, I did face a longer season of loneliness. God put me face to face with loneliness, I could either be consumed by it and go into a “woe is me” attitude, or I could see that it was for a reason. I thank God for giving me the eyes to see the latter. In 1 Corinthians, Paul says that singleness is a gift from God to be more concerned for the thing of God and not of worldly things. I believe loneliness can be used in the same way. Sometimes it may take God to isolate you from distractions for the purpose of teaching you something, when you would have never listened when surrounded with other voices. Personally, God used that season of life to build me up into being myself and not dependent on what people thought I should be. There is a reason Jesus would slip away from time to time to be isolated. I believe that there is a wrongly placed negative connotation to being alone. For most cases, we do need people around us to build us up, but often times, it is best for there to only be one builder. 

Satisfied

Jesus answered her, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks the water that I give him will never be thirsty again.”” John 4:13-14a

Growing up in church I always knew the story of the woman at the well, however, I never saw myself in it until I identified the misplaced thirst for satisfaction in my own life. When I found it in my friendships, I would often feel completely empty. I could feel the false satisfaction of being around people, but I could also feel the true hunger for true, lasting satisfaction. I was the Samaritan going to the well each day while I missed the living water. In learning to be satisfied in God, I would search for verses in the Bible telling me that I would get friends and end this lonely season. All I could find were verses saying God will never leave. I believe that is because God knows human relationships will never satisfy, but a relationship with God will never fade and leave you needing more. Do not expect your relationships to fill the God-sized hole in your heart, that will only lead to disappointment.

Sustained

“But there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24b

“The Son of Man came eating and drinking [with others], and they say, ‘Look! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners [including non-observant Jews]!’ Yet wisdom is justified and vindicated by her deeds [in the lives of those who respond to Me].” Matthew 11:19

The thought I kept coming back to in my season of loneliness, was the wonder of the friendship with Jesus that we have. God has many names for different aspects of His character, such as judge, father, wonderful counselor, and friend. That last one means the most to me. To know that the sovereign God of creation is loving enough to be a friend of sinners is an incredible act of love. Once I realized that, it changed how I viewed God as a whole. He is a friend closer than a brother, and will never drift apart. Whether you are a great friend to Him, which is not often the case, or whether you are not, He will still love you all the same. So when you feel like you are in a season of loneliness, lean into the steadfast friendship of God and be open to receive what He may be teaching you.